Electric light orchestra...
Okay, I’m completely perplexed. Felicia and I are pretty good parents. We do everything in our power to make sure that little Micah lacks for nothing in the world. The little man dines on the choicest of delicacies. He is dressed in only the very finest of fabrics. Why, if I’d had only a quarter-portion of the benefits he’s enjoyed in his early years I’d probably be president today.
Along with all of the physical comforts we’ve tried to provide for we’ve also tried to stimulate his intellectual abilities to their fullest capacity. Spread out across the living room floor of our home is a vast selection of cleverly wrought devices (hand colored with only the highest quality of lead paints) designed by the most innovative minds at Fisher Price Toys. My I.Q. has increased by four points (And yes, both Wizards and Pepper that does indeed now make my I.Q. a whopping 4.5.) simply by spending time with Micah as he plays with them.
So, with all the advantages we’ve worked so hard to provide our son with there is one thing that has me completely perplexed. Why, with all the cornucopia of goodness that surrounds him in our home is he magnetically drawn to only one thing in the entire house? No matter where I set him down to play or what toys I give him to play with, he will perform one quick spin on the floor to survey his surroundings and then immediately start crawling towards the nearest electrical outlet. For the life of me I just can’t figure it out.
Is it something I’ve done? Is it me? Is it perhaps my blog and my over-the-top Liberal politics? Why does my son have this death wish? I know I’m a bit difficult at times, but I’ve never walked into a room to discover Felicia French-kissing one of the outlets. (She does however keep a quart of vodka and a rather large bottle of sleeping pills atop the nightstand on her side of the bed labeled, ”In Case of Emergency”.) I don’t get it; he just arrived on the planet. Do you think he knows I invested his college money in the stock market?
Do you think he knows I invested his college money in the stock market?
I’ve tried to reassure him in any manner of ways. I’ve told him we do change presidents every four years and Bush won’t be running the country for much longer. I’ve tried to let him know that God is not the hateful punitive ogre the Christian conservatives make him out to be. I’ve even tried to console him about the current state of music and entertainment. Nothing seems to work. Every time I set him down he makes a bee-line for the juice.
Are all children like this or am I just raising a future Goth kid? I wish he’d start talking so we could work through his obvious angst together.
Should I start him on sugar?
Thursday’s Market Numbers
DOW + 117.78
NASDAQ + 13.97
S&P + 11.20I think I' m going to let Micah's college money ride a little longer. Come on Market, daddy needs new shoes...