December 25, 2007

Blue, blue Christmas...

My father, born on Christmas day, died this afternoon at approximately 2 p.m. at Mercy Hospital in Springfield, Ohio. My niece, Melanie, whom I had not heard from in many years called to give me the news. Quite frankly, I was more excited to hear from my niece than I was saddened to hear about my father's passing.

No, don't be sad...

My father was a monster who beat me like I was a punching bag throughout my entire childhood until I ran away from home and never looked back. I carried scars of both the mental and physical type well into adulthood. Thanks to Felicia, my loving and wonderful wife, many of the scars I believed would never heal have at last begun to fade from the fabric of my heart and soul.

My family shattered many years ago and the pieces have never come back together, not even when my mother died. We are a terribly wounded and hurt group of individuals. Melanie was afraid to call me. Somehow reunions in my family are never wonderful and she feared, as I always do, opening the door to those we have avoided for so many decades. The pain is simply too much to risk. The hurt is always so slow to fade away.

She called and we talked...

When you have children it is funny how important family becomes. Melanie and I both know the sorrow of having no family at our weddings. We know far too well the pain at holidays of having to face the inevitable questions; Aren't you going to see your family? Why don't your family ever call? Why doesn't you ever talk about your family?. Yeah, it sucks hard.

We talked...

We exchanged addresses and phone numbers and vowed to show our children a different kind of family.

My father died. It was almost a relief...

I hope my son never feels such a thing.

I hope Melanie's children never feel such a thing.

Merry Christmas everyone. Please be good to each other.

It is so very important. Trust me, I know from personal experience...


Anonymous Aileen said...

Just goes to show that good things can come out of bad situations. I hope you and your niece will , indeed , join as a happy family for your kids.

December 26, 2007 2:43 AM  
Blogger Kat said...

I can say I absolutely, 200% understand EXACTLY what you mean.

Hope 2008 is filled with wonderful things for you and your family.

December 26, 2007 8:42 AM  
Blogger Kati said...

Glad you got to reconnect with your niece & I hope that you're able to stay in touch & y'all get to enjoy having connections to other blood-family members.

I'll have to come back & watch the video of Micah later. He looks adorable in his little blue sleeper. Hope y'all had a very, merry!!!

December 26, 2007 2:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad then.

I kind of know how it is struggling with that type of past. And how it makes us see how IMPORTANT our own family is.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. Even tho it is the day after ;)

Little man is so handsome.

December 27, 2007 2:42 AM  
Blogger Craig D said...

The concept of "family" seems so devalued and under appreciated some times.

Lookit that Micah, though.

"The sins of the father" can be buried with the father, sez I!

Happy New Year, Dirk & Family!

December 27, 2007 11:35 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

I can so relate to your experience with your father. I'm happy you have Felicia to help you heal -- I also was lucky in that respect when I found my husband. And yes, "family" takes on a whole 'nother dimension after you have your own child(ren).

December 27, 2007 12:40 PM  
Blogger zen wizard said...

At least you are apparently breaking the cycle.

December 27, 2007 3:57 PM  
Blogger shaun said...

Sorry to hear about your family. I know what it's like to feel relief( I felt relief when my dad died,I was 15) mixed with hurt and loss. I hope your Christmas was really cool.

December 27, 2007 11:58 PM  
Blogger Pepper said...

I understand and can relate to your relationship with your father.

It is time to heal. Do not forget but forgive.

I want to adopt you and your family. I love the video. I don't know what my grandkids look like but I do get pictures occasionally of Jaeda and her cousin Jocelyn but I don't know who is who.

Enjoy your much deserved vacation and I hope your health continues to improve. Hugs and kisses to Micah.

December 28, 2007 2:46 PM  
Blogger Merelyme said...

oh my...i don't know what to say. i am sorry. i am sorry you had to endure that brutality as a child. your post is very powerful.

December 29, 2007 12:37 PM  
Blogger DirkStar said...

Thank you everyone...

Felicia and I love our little man so much.

We've just returned from Gatlinburg, Tennessee and had the most wonderful time sharing the town where our love really blossomed into the relationship it is today with Micah.

I should have a post up very soon.

December 30, 2007 1:35 AM  
Blogger Muhd Imran said...

It is very unfortunate to have lived life the way you had to when you were younger.

You made it all good now with your wife and the little guy beside you. Happy for you and your niece too.

Here's to new family ties and new beginnings. Happy New Year!

December 30, 2007 4:14 AM  

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