July 15, 2007

You think Cleveland rocks?

Then Toledo must be slamming heavy metal
steel chords of
thundering goodness!

Did you ever have one of those days where you didn’t realize the story you were getting, until you sat down at home afterwards with all of the pieces, and it was right there where you didn’t even realize you’d captured it until it all came together on the computer screen?

This weekend was the big P.T. Cruiser show at Young’s Dairy Farm in Yellow Springs, Ohio. As a new member of The Gem City Cruisers I was quite excited about my second event with my new found fellow P.T. Cruiser club members. Now, after the Fourth of July Parade event, (my first ever organized P.T. function) I’d ordered my club tee-shirt and mailed in my check and registration form for the three day Cruiser extravaganza.

Friday couldn’t roll around fast enough but at last the big day did indeed arrive and with baited breath and the raucous sounds of Jimi Hendrix screaming out the open windows of my Plum Purple P.T. Beauty I drove the forty-five minute journey to Yellow Springs in twenty-two minutes flat. Yeah, I was as they say on the east side, haulin ass, dude.

Not long after I parked my trusty metallic steed, The Purple haze, in my assigned spot in one of the many rows of parked automobiles, I was out and about, flying my club colors and looking for my P.T partners in crime. Well, it wasn’t long before the ladies knew I’d arrived and I was greeted with a love festival of warm smiles and hugs. I was feeling pretty good and figured the best was still yet to come.

As the evening progressed I was informed, by what I believed to be trustworthy club brothers that we were all going to meet for breakfast at the Young’s Dairy Restaurant on Saturday morning and would then afterwards proceed into the P.T. Cruiser show area and park our vehicles as a group. That’s the way we roll, or so I thought...

Saturday morning I arrived fifteen minutes before the scheduled ten-o-clock rendezvous time and was not too overly concerned when I didn’t see any of my fellow Gem City cohorts gathered in the parking lot. I was early and maybe this was one of those where the cool kids tended to roll a bit late. By ten-twenty I was beginning to feel a bit like the Boy Scout who’d been sent out to hunt up some snipe for dinner.

After breakfast I drove my P.T Cruiser up the gravel road to the big show and was greeted by a parking attendant who informed me that my fellow club members had already been parked as a group but he’d do his very best to get me as close to them as humanly possible. Now, I’ll give the Gem City Cruisers this much, when they saw how much difficulty I was having getting my canopy up in the wind several of the guys did come over and provide some needed assistance. It wasn’t until a few hours later that I discovered that all the other club canopies had been pitched as a single pavilion.

Still, it was a beautiful day and I met some very nice people. They may not have been my fellow Gem City Cruiser brethren but still they were basically good natured folk. Yes, I know you’re wondering where the Toledo Club fits into all of this, but honestly, I didn’t even realize the part they were going to wind up playing in my afternoon adventure until the magic moment they swooped in on the wings of angels and saved me from a near fatal canopy disaster. That’s right, I said a near fatal canopy disaster.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, as the afternoon progressed I began to feel a bit excluded from the club I’d so naively thrown my lot in with. While the Gem City Cruisers sat together enjoying the special camaraderie that only matching shirts and colors can create, my wife and I sat alone under the green canvas of our canopy reading recipes aloud to each other from the Real Simple Magazine. Yes, I managed to hold back my tears of sadness, but just barely.

Now, the whole time I was sitting alone in a sea of P.T. Club people I couldn’t help but notice this group of people gathered behind me. They had the coolest group of Cruisers, there were P.T.s painted up in pretty flame motifs and there was even one copper painted vehicle that had autumn colored leaves emblazoned upon it that changed colors throughout the day as the sun changed position in the sky above. It was amazing.

This group stayed together all day laughing, sharing food, beverage and a whole lot of friendly camaraderie. It was magical. Good karma seemed to follow them around the whole day long and it seemed like they were winning door prizes every other five minutes or so. One woman not only won gourmet bottles of wine but a set of really nice Budweiser beer steins to drink it out of too. I’m not kidding you, it was incredible.

The big tent where Toledo kept taking the goodies home.

Ok, its late, I’m sunburned, tired and its way past my bedtime. I think you already get the gist of the suffering I endured, so if you don’t mind, I’ll just skip ahead to the "near fatal canopy disaster" and draw this sordid tale to an end.

Just minutes before the near fatal canopy disaster.

So, there I was at the end of the day, with most of my fellow Gem City Cruiser club buddies already packed up and headed back to the ranch, when I decided to end my afternoon of fun by packing up my tent and preparing to slink forlornly home. Felicia was sitting off to one side taking care of the baby as I began the task of pulling up stakes and dismantling the canvas shelter. Suddenly, the wind blew the canopy upon the ground and it caught the wind in the manner of a parasail and began dragging me through the cornfield of doom.

I was terrified; I could hear Felicia Screaming, “N-o-o-o-o-o!”

My poor baby was crying, “Please, somebody save my daddy!”

And that is when the Toledo Club sprang into action like a professional team of synchronized ninjas. Ten, twenty, thirty yards or more I was pulled through the cornfield of doom screaming and praying for my very life. Like angels wearing Red Ball Jets of greased lightening these brave souls closed the distance between us until just before I was about to sail over a fifty-foot cliff, to a sure and terrible death, they not only caught the deadly canvas sail but also collapsed it into a manageable mass and saved my very life.

(I know, if I hadn’t been there myself I wouldn’t believe it either.)

They wouldn’t accept a reward. That’s just the way they roll I guess. They wouldn’t give me their names so I could give them the proper due they deserve on this unworthy rag of a blog. They simply tipped their white cowboy hats and disappeared into the sunset. I will never forget the kindness they showed me today and neither will Felicia.

Toledo, you guys rock! See, I told you I’d mention you favorably on my blog.

I’ll bet those Gem City Cruisers are sorry now...

C'mon, you guys know I love you too.

See you next week on the short ride?


Blogger Pepper said...

My poor baby was crying, “Please, somebody save my daddy!”

I can't stop laughing. That is so funny.

Sorry to hear about the tent. To stay in the theme, you can say "My Friend, It Was Blowing In The Wind."

I want a tent like that but I am afraid of them. I just know that one good wind and I will be chasing it down the road chasing. The post confirms my fears.

All in all it still sounds like a great day. Adventure, new friends, and Jimmy Hendrix. Most important people can come together for a common cause i.e. tent chasing.

July 15, 2007 9:51 AM  
Blogger captain corky said...

Thanks for stopping by the log the other day.

I happen to the proud owner of a Ford Focus. Anytime you want to race for "pinks" just let me know pal. ;)

July 15, 2007 11:54 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

For some reason I have this vision of a bunch of Jamie Farr look-alikes coming to your rescue. ;-)

You're baby is already speaking in complete sentences? Impressive. I bet he can walk down the stairs backwards already too.

July 15, 2007 9:14 PM  
Blogger Craig D said...

So you got stiffed by your fellow P.T. Crusier bretheren? I always wondered what the P.T. stood for, now I know it's an hommage to P.T. Barunum. "There's one born every minute!"

Isn't it a P.T.
Now isn't it a shame?
How we break each other's hearts
Without feeling any shame?"

-George Harrison, 1970

July 16, 2007 10:27 AM  
Blogger Dirk_Star said...

Pepper - Sigh, no one feels my pain without laughing...

jay - you should see the little man break dance.

craig - Cold, dude, real cold...

July 16, 2007 10:54 AM  
Blogger Danielle said...

I am glad your safe and sound but I too laughed out loud picturing you para sailing with a tent.

Since the Cruiser came out, I love it, the look, I need you to let me know the specs since we really, really, really need to trade in our 1989 Bronco, we needed something and the price was right two years ago but I hate being such a damn hypocrite with 8mpg.

I got some tasty Random Lyrics.

July 16, 2007 12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You could have just let it carry you on one wild ride. I have had flying dreams that started out like that, panicked and then Goodness Gracious, this is fun! Of course the reality is somewhat different isn't it?

July 16, 2007 5:03 PM  
Blogger Dirk_Star said...

claudia - Uh,I've had those flying dreams too.

Usually they end with a rather erotic "finish" and I don't think that would have helped me in that particular situation.

Couldn't have hurt, but surely wouldn't have helped...

July 16, 2007 5:37 PM  
Blogger Wizened Wizard said...

So... I guess the Toledo group is the wind beneath your wings?

July 16, 2007 6:20 PM  
Blogger Dirk_Star said...

Wizard - Now, if I'd made that pun the entire blogosphere would be groaning.


July 16, 2007 6:50 PM  
Anonymous entire blogosphere said...


July 17, 2007 6:31 AM  
Blogger MarmiteToasty said...

tip :) - ya should of just let go of the panopy LOL.......


July 17, 2007 7:40 AM  
Blogger Dirk_Star said...

marmitetoasty - Let go?

July 17, 2007 7:48 AM  
Blogger just me said...

Incredibly, this sounds like something that could have happened to me!! And no insult intended. I hate that the Gem City Cruisers were such snobs, and I am so happy the Toledo guys saved your hindquarters.

I had a PT Cruiser. I loved it. I still do, and if I get the chance I will get another. I called her Darlene.

I have to say, you must have made a very solid first impression. And, no, I am not laughing. I swear. I'm not. I have a nervous twitch is all.

July 17, 2007 11:08 AM  
Blogger Arcturus said...

Those pictures make the event look more like an old-fashioned American tent rival ... where's Elmer Gantry?

July 17, 2007 4:01 PM  
Blogger C-dell said...

funny stuff Dirk, let me tell you, you do some of the coolest stuff. You seem like you have a lot of fun.

July 17, 2007 4:36 PM  
Blogger zen wizard said...

I seldom venture into a hostile enemy country (Ohio), but this sounds like it would be worth it.

July 18, 2007 3:34 PM  
Blogger MasterQ said...

Has anyone ever said that you should write a book?

July 19, 2007 11:59 PM  

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