December 9, 2006

Back in black...

"The Nameless One."

"Wait, don't hit that button!"

I tried to stop him but you know how strong the Nameless One is when he’s in a rage. It all happened so fast. I mean, he appeared out of nowhere. One minute I’m merrily working away in my blog-shop and then bam, like magic he stood there wearing a pointed blue hat decorated with yellow stars and crescent moons on it.

(He claimed he "borrowed" it from the Wizened Wizard.)

He was carrying a weapon; a really big axe like one of those you see in that World of Warcraft game. His eyes were wild with hate and he was foaming at the mouth. He started screaming, “I’ve met Frank Zappa! I know Frank Zappa! And you, sir are no Frank Zappa!”

I was like, “Dude, chill out. Put down the axe and let’s talk this thing out.” My words were of no avail. He whirled around and began chopping and hacking at the HTML of my blog. I was shaking in my avatar and fearing for my virtual life.

“Wait, don’t touch that button!”

And then everything went blank...

It was horrible.

Then, there was a bright white light and I heard a sound like the voices of a thousand Bill Gates singing hosannas to the highest. I saw all of my former web pages coming to greet me. It was wondrous to behold. I was going home...

Just when I was about to enter that great bitmap in the sky, a voice called out to me. It was faint at first, but it kept growing stronger and more insistent. “Dirk_Star, don’t go into the light! Turn away from the light and look at me!” Ruefully I turned my head and there she was, the Pixie.

“Follow me!” she cried, “We can fix this; trust me, it’s not your time yet.” She stretched out her hand and my fingers entwined in hers and suddenly I was back in the blog-shop.

The Nameless One was gone but the devastation of his visit remained. Everything lay in ruins around us; all of my links were gone, my wonderful award lay shattered and in ruins on the floor. My psychedelic graphics were nothing more than a colorful memory.

“It’s alright, Dirk_Star. Do exactly as I say. I want you to click your ruby-red-slippers-of-reset together three times and shout, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”” Pixie smiled and her radiance lifted my spirits. “Believe those words in your heart and everything will be as good as new.”

Even though my heart was still heavy, I did as she instructed and as you can see with your very own eyes, everything was magically set to rights and again the “Yellow Blogarine” has returned to the waters of the Internet.

It was a miracle!

Yes, I once was lost, but thanks to the Pixie, I now am found.

Why oh why does the Nameless One hate me so? He is determined I must perish. If ever you come here and find that I am missing, please send Scotland Yard to his blog immediately.

If your link is absent from the list of good vibes please tell me and I will replace it as soon as possible. Again, this is no fault of my own.

Blame the nameless one...

He’s trying to kill me!

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Blogger Meander said...

so it wasn't just me! i couldn't see your blog earlier! what happened you poor dear?

December 08, 2006 3:24 PM  
Blogger Cinderella said...

Awwww it sucks when you hit the wrong button doesn't it?

Don't you just feel like giving someone the pimp hand now? ~Snicker~

Hope you fix things fast...*Hugs*

December 08, 2006 6:53 PM  
Blogger Zen Wizard said...

Well, that's what happens when you tell jokes about the Illuminati, the National Security Administration, or the Google guys.

December 08, 2006 7:12 PM  
Blogger skeet said...

Nor could I. Hope things are all better soon!

December 08, 2006 7:17 PM  
Anonymous Whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Oh thank God! You are back and all is well with the blog. I hope you are feeling better too. :-)

December 08, 2006 8:12 PM  
Blogger Steven Novak said...

You can't make it better, stronger...

Blogger is not the six millon dollar man.

It's barely the seven dollar man. ;)


December 08, 2006 8:32 PM  
Blogger Kati said...

Uh oh!!! Hope everything's back as it should be.

December 08, 2006 10:19 PM  
Blogger Imran MD said...

Not a virus attack on your computer is it? Did it jump from you to your PC?

December 08, 2006 10:29 PM  
Blogger Chucky said...

So what happened?

December 08, 2006 10:31 PM  
Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I don't see Craig D. on there. I can't think of anyone else at the moment but if I think of someone I'll let you know.

December 08, 2006 10:33 PM  
Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Um... When I hit on The Nameless one it takes me to PAL

December 08, 2006 11:33 PM  
Blogger Cinderella said...

Is everything ok now? I see my link is back up, so that makes me happy! =)

December 09, 2006 12:18 AM  
Anonymous Whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Also you get a 404 pager error when you click on Satan's and Jali's links.

December 09, 2006 12:54 AM  
Blogger The Wizened Wizard said...

People, people! Calm down! I'm sure there's an explanation! The Nameless One (brave though he is in the presence of Smothers) is a gentle sort, a kindly soul. He must have been suffering PTZD - the flashbacks can be wicked, I've heard: all sorts of things happen, like imagining you ACTUALLY met Zappa back in the 70s. Forgive him, Dirk, for he knows not what he does when the disorder rears its ugly head.

December 09, 2006 8:52 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

You have made some powerful enemies Dirk. You must be careful at all times. They're not content with just stopping you. They want to destroy all that you have done and all that you stand for.

December 09, 2006 10:49 AM  
Blogger skeet said...

So glad things are all better now.Yesterday was a bit bleak. A day without Dirk is like a day without ... um, something.

December 09, 2006 1:48 PM  
Blogger skeet said...


December 09, 2006 6:08 PM  
Blogger Mone said...

You should stay away from your PC if you have a cold, there is a strong chance of contamination ;)

December 09, 2006 10:56 PM  
Blogger Craig D said...

Gosh, even though I did take some rudimentary HTML coding classes at the local community college about six years ago, I certainly don't have the chops needed to pull down the mighty dirk_star empire!

I did hear a rumor that Al Gore has been busy trying to un-invent the internet, though...

December 09, 2006 11:02 PM  
Blogger Allan said...

Glad that worked out.Pixie did well- it's a good fit.

December 10, 2006 5:16 PM  

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