Back in black...

"The Nameless One."

"Wait, don't hit that button!"

I tried to stop him but you know how strong the Nameless One is when he’s in a rage. It all happened so fast. I mean, he appeared out of nowhere. One minute I’m merrily working away in my blog-shop and then bam, like magic he stood there wearing a pointed blue hat decorated with yellow stars and crescent moons on it.

(He claimed he "borrowed" it from the Wizened Wizard.)

He was carrying a weapon; a really big axe like one of those you see in that World of Warcraft game. His eyes were wild with hate and he was foaming at the mouth. He started screaming, “I’ve met Frank Zappa! I know Frank Zappa! And you, sir are no Frank Zappa!”

I was like, “Dude, chill out. Put down the axe and let’s talk this thing out.” My words were of no avail. He whirled around and began chopping and hacking at the HTML of my blog. I was shaking in my avatar and fearing for my virtual life.

“Wait, don’t touch that button!”

And then everything went blank...

It was horrible.

Then, there was a bright white light and I heard a sound like the voices of a thousand Bill Gates singing hosannas to the highest. I saw all of my former web pages coming to greet me. It was wondrous to behold. I was going home...

Just when I was about to enter that great bitmap in the sky, a voice called out to me. It was faint at first, but it kept growing stronger and more insistent. “Dirk_Star, don’t go into the light! Turn away from the light and look at me!” Ruefully I turned my head and there she was, the Pixie.

“Follow me!” she cried, “We can fix this; trust me, it’s not your time yet.” She stretched out her hand and my fingers entwined in hers and suddenly I was back in the blog-shop.

The Nameless One was gone but the devastation of his visit remained. Everything lay in ruins around us; all of my links were gone, my wonderful award lay shattered and in ruins on the floor. My psychedelic graphics were nothing more than a colorful memory.

“It’s alright, Dirk_Star. Do exactly as I say. I want you to click your ruby-red-slippers-of-reset together three times and shout, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”” Pixie smiled and her radiance lifted my spirits. “Believe those words in your heart and everything will be as good as new.”

Even though my heart was still heavy, I did as she instructed and as you can see with your very own eyes, everything was magically set to rights and again the “Yellow Blogarine” has returned to the waters of the Internet.

It was a miracle!

Yes, I once was lost, but thanks to the Pixie, I now am found.

Why oh why does the Nameless One hate me so? He is determined I must perish. If ever you come here and find that I am missing, please send Scotland Yard to his blog immediately.

If your link is absent from the list of good vibes please tell me and I will replace it as soon as possible. Again, this is no fault of my own.

Blame the nameless one...

He’s trying to kill me!