I can see clearly now...

You can dress it up...

There is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman? Whoever said that simply had to be a radical feminist. Now, don’t get me wrong here, because I do believe that pregnancy is a miraculous thing, but from what I’ve seen so far there isn’t anything pretty about it at all. Physiologically, it is a nightmare experience that gets worse with every passing week.

When my wife became pregnant it was indeed the blessed event that everyone always said it would be. We were so excited in the first weeks and it really didn’t seem to impact our lives much at all. Then came the morning sickness and the nausea, followed shortly thereafter by the heightened sense of smell that left her gagging and green without any warning. It wasn’t very beautiful at all.

As the changes in my wife’s physiology continued to accelerate her emotions started flickering back and forth across the spectrum of feelings from darkest despair to manic elation. Watching television became a real adventure. Sometimes it seemed as if the only relief I experienced was when she fell asleep.

Then came the snoring; the likes of which I’ve never heard before in my entire life. It was the sound of a roaring chainsaw followed by the piercing wail of a semi-truck air-horn. I lay in bed with my wife, but I no longer slept until she got up in the morning and left for work.

The last few weeks my wife suffered through sleepless nights with back pain from which there seemed no possible relief. Neither one of us were getting any sleep at night and it was anything but a beautiful experience for the two of us. We tried everything; Bio-medic massage units, sleep pillows, back rubs and hot baths.

Nothing worked. Finally, in an unparalleled act of desperation, my wife agreed to visit my chiropractor. She may have believed them to be quacks in the past but she has a new found respect for the relief they provide now. The back pain is down to a manageable level and she can sleep once again.

At last we are headed down the home stretch of our pregnancy. The baby is due in mid to late April and we couldn’t be looking forward to his arrival with any more excitement. Yes, this is a miraculous event and I will never forget this time and the sacrifices we’ve made as a couple to ensure the best start in life for our child. Has it been a beautiful experience? Ask my wife for the answer to that question, and then duck fast when she snarls and goes for the jugular vein in your neck.

Pregnancy has been an amazing adventure that has affected every aspect of our relationship. My wife and I have suffered through every physical and emotional indignity together and it has been anything but beautiful. That is the plain truth.

Every single visual cue I’ve ever known as man looking for physical beauty in a woman has been shattered. As I watch my snoring, snuffling gurgling rumbling and rotund wife drooling upon the pillow as she sleeps I can assure you that it is one of the most physically distressing sights I’ve ever witnessed.

Gentlemen, let me give you a word of warning here; if your relationship with a woman relies purely upon her physical beauty you are in for a rude awakening when she becomes pregnant. Believe me when I tell you that you are going to live through nine months of sights sounds and smells the likes of which you cannot imagine not even in your worst nightmare.

Now I will tell you the miracle of pregnancy. Guys, your wife will never be more beautiful to you than she is during this time. It is true and I tell you this from personal experience. When every single masculine stereotype of physical feminine beauty is stripped away before your frightened eyes something wonderful will happen. You will meet your wife as a person. You will discover why you really love her.

As I’ve watched my wife go through the process of pregnancy it has amazed me how beautiful she has remained to me throughout the entire experience. After listening to all of the horror stories from all of the men in all of the locker rooms I was prepared for the very worst of changes. I began to wonder why I wasn’t feeling any of the negative stuff I’d been told to expect.

That’s when I learned what I’d already known for a long time about my relationship. I love my wife because of who she is, not because of what she looks like. Felicia is my best friend. She is my life partner and she is the best conversationalist I’ve ever known. Our love is wonderful because of our shared experience. My wife is beautiful because of who she is as a person. It was truly an epiphany moment.

I had no clue what marriage was about when I entered into the union. What I find to be important and wonderful these days are astounding to me. When did I begin to embrace things I always avoided in my bachelor days? What happened to me? I’ve changed. I may even have grown up a little and I owe it all to the incredible person I spend my days and nights with.

The time is growing near when our baby is going to enter the world and join our family. Yes, I know that he will change and affect our lives even more than he has already, but somehow I am not afraid of what the future may hold in store for us. After all, I am in the company of the most amazing person I know; my wife, Felicia.

Pregnancy, what a wonderful thing...