December 30, 2006

Green acres ain't the place for me..

You should have seen the fox he was with!

I know that the wizened wizard is rather fond of the furry-feral-ferocious-felons frolicking in the frosty-forest of her forgotten magical glen, but here in the Big City our animals are cut from a kinder, gentler and more refined fabric.

Unlike the rascally weasels inhabiting the wizened wizard’s confines or the masticating monsters lurking in darkened burrows, our concrete-and-glass-urban-jungle canine friends prefer to enjoy more social evenings out with good company and fine restaurants.

May I say what a gentleman this individual proved to be as he waited patiently until my pregnant wife was safely out of our vehicle before exiting his own S.U.V. and opening the passenger side door for his own traveling companion?

I’m sure one would never find one of the Wizards’s frothing-feral feasters exhibiting such refined manners. Yes, living in the country may possess certain rural charms, but city life too offers a certain refined entertainment that is equally valid in its own way.

In conclusion, I would just like to say, “Red Rover, Red Rover, we’d like to invite you both over for after dinner cocktails if you would care to join us.”

I'm sure the wizened wizard would never extend such an invitation to her felonious furried friends for fear of losing her good silverware.


Thanks for all the kind comments left by those who were crafty enough to look behind the Wizard's photo editing on my last post and see the true beauty hidden beneath her magical machinations.

Hint, hint...

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Blogger bardouble29 said...

I did enjoy reading this post...I have a kitty. He is spoiled and so very sweet. For a short time I lived in the midwest and he did not know what to think of all the wild creatures lurking at the windows. He spent much of that time hiding under the bed.

December 30, 2006 11:34 AM  
Blogger Dirk_Star said...


As I am sure my own feline friend would be doing if we were to visit the untamed wilds of the wizened wizard's woodland adventure home.

December 30, 2006 11:39 AM  
Blogger russkal said...

That's a well-behived canine you got there, Dirk. It's so still it almost looked stuff. Hey, didn't you say you once dabbled in taxidermy?

BTW, aren't you going to post about Saddam's execution? Ding-dong! The wicked witch is dead.

I guess I just miss your anti-war posts.

December 30, 2006 11:50 AM  
Blogger Cinderella said...

Dirk, I think you are soooo cute!! That's all I have to say about that.

You remind me of someone in a band (not a boy band) but something kinda like ....Def Leppard ...along those lines. You're hawt =)

As for the doggie, he is cute also. I live in the country and I understand exactly what you mean. But I grew up in the city so I know that kindness goes a LONG way.

December 30, 2006 12:26 PM  
Blogger Skittles said...

And he drove a Ford! Need more people like that. (Hubby words for them.)

December 30, 2006 1:58 PM  
Blogger C-dell said...

Is that your dog.

December 30, 2006 2:01 PM  
Blogger The Wizened Wizard said...

My furry-feral-ferocious-masticating monster felonious friends would like to point out that the way domesticity is achieved in your refined city is by castration of their unsuspecting feline and canine brothers and sisters. "Refined entertainment" indeed, they say!

That said, Bambi and Wiley (the only ones braving the snow so far today) send their best regards to your hairy sidekick. Wiley would be pleased to make his acquaintance, but Bambi reminds us that once in the forest, your refined canine companion would throw all manners to the wind and take up pursuit of his rural cousins - not an action they condone or appreciate.

In closing, I - the Wizened Wizard - invite all of my new and old friends and their animal companions (on leashes or otherwise under control...) to a wine tasting in the enchanted forest in celebration of the outing of Dirk's sweet face. A great event should be celebrated!

December 30, 2006 2:20 PM  
Blogger Craig D said...

Hey, russkal! Just substitute "Saddam" for "Trump" in the Rosie O'Donnell post and it'll be covered!

December 30, 2006 3:07 PM  
Blogger Pepper said...

Sometimes I am afraid to click on your pictures. Might find an elf or something.

December 30, 2006 4:14 PM  
Blogger Kati said...

Dude, that dog looks evil, what with the red eye & all. ;) Too funny.

December 30, 2006 4:43 PM  
Blogger Dirk_Star said...

Okay, for those who have asked; that is not our dog. We walked out of Staples and there he was. I had to get the photo.

Thanks to the Wiz for inspiring me to be always be on the lookout for animal photo ops.

December 30, 2006 4:51 PM  
Blogger Em said...

Oh man, thanks for the hint. It never even occurred to me. Duh!

December 30, 2006 5:40 PM  
Blogger Imran said...

I am torn between a dog, a ferret and an SUV. I'm clueless even with the "hint, hint" thingy.

Whatever it is, city folks have their own brand of etiquette that is refreshing to actually be at the receiving end.

Anyway, here's a city folk wishing you and yours...


December 30, 2006 9:05 PM  
Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

So chivalry isn't dead?

Although I liked the untouched photo of you the original pic that the Wizard hooked us up with was much better. LMAO! Thanks Wizard!

December 30, 2006 10:11 PM  
Blogger russkal said...

I guess you're right, Craig. Haha!

So it ain't your dog, huh Dirk? I knew it! You're a mastiff, rottweiler or an englisg bulldog type of bloke.

Definitely not a Labrador!

December 31, 2006 12:42 AM  
Blogger russkal said...


The countdown begins!

December 31, 2006 2:08 AM  
Blogger Skittles said...

Pssst.. (I'm challenging everyone with word verification to turn it off for one week.)

December 31, 2006 2:09 PM  
Blogger zen wizard said...

Well, I went to Michigan State, not Michigan--so I will choose a naked Hellenistic pedophile over anything in the wolverine or ferret philogenetic order every time.

December 31, 2006 2:15 PM  
Blogger skeet said...

Hrrrrrrrruuuuuuuumph! And to think that I've been driving them around all this time. Had I but known ...

Nice one, sweet friend. Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!

Skittles, can't take your challenge. Just intalled it after spending hours on Christmas day deleting spam-bot stuff. On the one hand, it's nice to be noticed. On the other hand ... ICK!

December 31, 2006 4:39 PM  
Blogger Smalltown RN said...

I had to take a double take on this one!

Happy New years my friend!!!


December 31, 2006 4:41 PM  
Blogger Greenery said...

Happy New Year, Dirk!

And Happy fatherhood! (I just noticed those words are rarely used together). And many more!

I mean it! This world needs more Americans, believe you me - so keep churnin' 'em out!

As a bilingual nuclear ornithologist - have you been up-to-your-eyeballs busy with all this avian flu in former soviet, nuclear states?

All the best in the New Year -

(I'm already in 2007 in Baghdad)

December 31, 2006 5:05 PM  

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