November 10, 2006

Once Upon a Time...

“Mommy, what’s a Neocon?”

“Why, little Susie, where did you learn that word?”

“At recess today, momma! Tiffany said that her daddy is a Neocon and that they rule the world.”

“Well how did that make you feel, honey?”

“It made me feel a little scared cause Tiffany is awful mean to the little ones and she’s always bossing everybody around and telling us how to act.”

“Oh, come here, angel and sit on mommies lap. Now, let me tell you all about the Neocons and where they come from. Now, Neocons start out as good little boys and girls, just like you. But the Neocon children are born to parents of the very rich. Because of this they are very spoiled and everything is always handed to them on silver platters.”

“Oh, momma, that sounds just like a fairy tale!”

“Well, you would think so, but because they’ve always had everything handed to them, they haven’t learned how to use their minds very well.”

“Are Neocons dumb, momma?”

“They aren’t as smart as my precious Susie.”

“Then why does Tiffany say they rule the world?”

“You see, Susie, what happens is that as the children of the Neocons grow up and begin to become young adults, their parents begin preparing them for their future in a land called The Elite.”

“That sounds funny! What is the land of Elite, momma?”

“Well, sweetie, The Land of Elite is where the Neocon children grow up with the mistaken belief that simply because they were born into money, they are entitled to anything and everything without having to do anything for it.”

“That sounds kinda selfish to me, momma. Don’t the Neocons believe in sharing?”

“That’s one of the weaknesses of the Neocons, honey. They aren’t very good at thinking of anything other than their own selves. They are really good at taking, but really bad at giving.”

“That sure sounds a lot like, Tiffany!”

“Now, as the Neocon children are preparing to become captains of industry and ladies of society, they are sent to special churches where they learn dangerous principles like “Manifest Destiny” and “The Will of God.””

“Mamma, what is Manifest Destiny?”

“Well, Susie, Manifest Destiny is the belief that it’s preordained by God for the more powerful to invade the land of the weaker and take their resources for their own.”

“But isn’t God good, mommy?”

Well, normally yes, but when you put big ideas like Manifest Destiny and Preordination into underdeveloped and selfish minds, bad things are bound to happen.”

“I don’t think I wanna be a Neocon, mommy.”

“Don’t worry, honey, you have a good mind. Your brain is big and strong because you work for things. You’ll never turn into a Neocon.”

“Now, because the Neocons never have any friends, other than the children of other Neocon parents, they never learn how to interact with real people. So not only do the Neocons have small minds, but they have terrible social skills too.

That’s why their mommies and daddies send them to big schools with important sounding names like, Harvard and Yale. These schools award special diplomas with fancy sounding degrees on them to not very smart people, like George W. Bush, in exchange for large sums of money for the building of things like memorial libraries.

“Now, once the small minded children, spoiled rich and filled with a false sense of entitlement, are grown up and armed with the principles of Manifest Destiny and Preordination, they enter The Land of The Elite with their diplomas of pomposity and begin to accumulate the wealth of the world unto themselves.”

“Isn’t there any way to stop them, mama?”

“Yes there is, honey. Thankfully, there aren’t very many of the Neocons but there are a lot more good-hearted common people just like you and me. Every time the Neocons get out of control and are eating up everything in the world a wonderful thing happens.”

“What happens, mommy?”

“Well, all the good people in the land of America rise up in one voice and vote the sorry-sons-a-bitches out of their positions of power and boot their sorry asses to the curb! Just like what happened this past Tuesday.”


“I know, honey, mommy shouldn’t talk like that but sometimes you just have to tell it like it is.”

“Now off to bed with you, and in the morning when you get to school, tell little Tiffany to kiss your perky-little-butt.”

And everyone, including little Susie lived happily ever after....

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Blogger Baron Hashbrown said...

It's a pity that the rest of the class don't stand up to Tiffany until after she beat up little Jane. It made her very unpopular. Poor Jane is a kid with a very different background to the rest of the class and so not many friends. Tiffany wanted Jane's big bag of cookies because she had already eaten her own.

Unfortunately Tiffany hadn't thought about Jane's arguing sisters who all wanted to tell Jane what to do and all wanted to look after the cookies for her. Now Tiffany's caught up in the middle of it all and the cookies seem even further out of reach than before.

Much of the class are telling Tiffany to keep herself to herself and leave them alone but Tiffany feels a little guilty for statring it all and most of all she still knows those cookies are waiting to be eaten...

November 10, 2006 7:02 AM  
Blogger poody said...

What a nice little bedtime story Too bad they aren't kicked further from the curb! Don't forget to warn her of the fact that they will mesmerize her with empty promises of a land of milk and honey .. I mean money!

November 10, 2006 11:51 AM  
Blogger magz said...

Awesummly Grimm fairy tale big guy! Funny how it dont read as fiction atall, eh?
I mentioned the mainfest destiny recently myownself; described it as simply 'we're bigger than you and we're gonna take it' LOL
Smart Kid. Smart MOM! Faithful n smart Dirk, recordin words O wisdom hehehe.
Kiddo? If ya'd like to be listed any aother way on my blogroll, just hollar, I'd be happy to change it (although I too, think yer about as PC as it gets my friend)

November 11, 2006 10:18 AM  

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