Maybe You Should Flush That Thing...

I began this morning like so many others before it; I consumed a healthy bowl of vitamin enriched cable news flakes (with marshmallow headlines) and shortly thereafter found myself perched upon the virtual toilet seat waiting for the inevitable movement I knew would soon follow.

As I sat there reading my morning copy of the Propaganda Times I felt a familiar clamping sensation. Suddenly my head started to reel and I felt a whippet-like-roaring rush through my consciousness and I thought for sure I was about to pass out. Dude, it was like tripping...

After a moment or two my head began to clear and I knew something big had happened. Sure enough, when I stood up and looked down, what do you think I saw floating around in my virtual toilet bowl? That's right, a big ole giant blog of a thing.

It was huge-normous! It had kernels of idea in it and gooey clusters of dialogue. There were even some pieces; I couldn't tell if they were Peanuts or bits of old Doonesbury I hadn't quite been able to digest. After careful examination of the stinky blog I reached out for the handle to delete the thing. But then I got to thinking, everyone else seems to be leaving their blogs floating around for everyone to look at, why shouldn't I? (Heck, I've even seen some of them being talked about on the cable news shows.) So that's just what I decided to do.

Well now, as the day has passed all kinds of people have dropped by and wouldn't you know it, they have all had something to say about that giant blog. One person said, "Man, something must have died inside of you to make a blog like that come out." An elderly lady suggested that if I were to add some moral fiber to my diet I wouldn't have that problem any more. One young person said I'd probably have to break it up some with a coat hanger before attempting to delete it or it would probably clog up the pipes on my screen saver. It never occurred to me before today just how interested in other peoples mental crap folks really are.

Okay, by now you’re probably wondering where this piece is headed and let me assure you that there is indeed a moral to this story. You see, I've learned something today. Once I saw how interested some viewers seemed to be in the blog floating around my own internet toilet bowl, I went out and perused a few blogs stinking up the websites of other folk.

Now, adding one thing to another, to discover the sum total of all things, which I have not yet discovered, this one thing I have learned. I've discovered that blogs are a lot like a$$holes and even though everyone seems to have one, not all of them smell as bad as the Christian Conservative ones do. He-he...