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November 6, 2006

Election Day Predictions...

At eight-forty-five Tuesday morning a devastating terrorist action will occur in a major American city. President Bush will appear on television at ten fifty-five and inform the nation that elections have been temporarily suspended for two days.

Thursday evening, George W. Bush will address the country and in a speech filled with terror-inducing-half-truths will postpone elections indefinitely.

One week later, President Bush will declare a state of emergency and suspend the congress of the United States of America.

One year later, our nation’s capitol will have been relocated to a ranch in Crawford, Texas. Democracy will be over as we know it...


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20 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

...but at least the trains will run on time.. nice post! :)

November 06, 2006 11:48 PM  
Blogger yellowdog granny said...

ahahah..please dont send that fucker down by me..and for the last time to anyone..he ain't no texan...he is from conn.in texas we have an expression that fits him...'all hat and no cattle'....

i just figured he would let the election go and then 3 days before it's time for him to leave office he will say it's too dangerous to let a new president step in and he is extending his term for another 8 years..where upon i will go redneck on him and kick his ass ..

November 07, 2006 12:11 AM  
Blogger nikki and damo said...

Man...here's to hoping your election predictions are completely inacurate (no offense!)

Unfortunately, I too could definitely see this happening.

Damo
fallingkoalas.blogspot.com

November 07, 2006 12:18 AM  
Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

"Democracy will be over as we know it..."

It pretty much is already.

November 07, 2006 1:40 AM  
Blogger Karthik B.S. said...

yeah, i too am waitng for the election drama to unhold! :)

November 07, 2006 3:41 AM  
Blogger Baron Hashbrown said...

Yes wouldn't it be terrible if America was turned into a dictatorship? Where only those in control of vast wealth and commercial connections could gain power; where the number of votes was inconsequential; where the leader struts about in a military uniform flaunting international laws and invading countries that threaten his grasp on world power...

November 07, 2006 6:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush Sucks! That's all I need to say.

http://angersarcasmandscoff.blogspot.com/

November 07, 2006 9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if we're lucky, we might see WWIII... but this time, let the axis of evil extend from the oval office... :P

November 07, 2006 10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I predict the republicans will win. What are they voting for again?
I'm lost.

November 07, 2006 10:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we will all go knock on the front door of the white house in which Mrs. Bush will answer in some frothy red schiffon number, leaning on the door jam. She will look us all up and down and say in a husky voice
"Are you the gatekeeper?"

in which we all reply
"No we are the revolutionaries"

she will then frown and slam the door in our face.

you know what this means right? we need to find rick moranis immediately. :p

November 07, 2006 10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, thx for the comment. chill. nothing can break me if i dont allow myself to be broken.

chill. all the best for the election

November 07, 2006 11:25 AM  
Blogger Babs said...

Dude, I'd laugh if that wasn't so fucking scary!

November 07, 2006 12:42 PM  
Blogger arsi said...

George Bush`s feelings are more important than yours.

November 07, 2006 1:23 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

The story continues:

Then, just as the sun was rising, Dirk_Star awoke from his chemical induced slumber to find that he was just having a a dream that would make Sigmond proud.

Upon erecting himself in bed, Dork reaches for the remote to the stereo and presses play on the reel to reel, eagerly awaiting "Ask Dr. Stupid", his favorite Zappa tune to begin the day. Just as the tune begins, he lights the roach from last nights journey to reality and begins a new one.

As rings of smoke and memories of Zappa fill the air, Dork ponders the days events and wonders just how his vote will make a statement or a difference. Just before the haze sets in, it dawns on him that maybe, just maybe, the sixties are over and San Francisco values mught not be the direction this nation should trapse. The buzz kicks in and Dork realizes, he loves the sixties!

Cut to ten minutes later:

Dork realizes that he has been awake for fifteen minutes already and the Nag Champa isn't lit. How could he have forgotten the Champa? As the cone is lit, he wishes that the space time warp in last nights Star Trek episode would envelope him and take him home, to Height and Asbury, in a better time, in a better place. Oh well, believing the odds of moving through time to be 1 in 100, he decides to just wait for Izzy to stop by later with the acid so the can go trip on the new electronic voting gizmos and write in Zappa for Senate, cause as we all know, Zappa's the shit!

This story ends with Dork and Izzy inviting Moonchild and Skye over for a late afternoon love foursome to celebrate life and the right to live it how we choose.

Pass the bong!

November 07, 2006 1:46 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

Oh, I see. You really are "not" so liberal and believe in the right of free speech? You have to "approve" what others will see in your forum. How hypocritical is that? A little comical dissent is good for you Dirk. It's good for all of us.

LOL, yellowdog granny may have said it well, "all hat and no cattle". But maybe it applies to you too!

November 07, 2006 1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right On!

Thanks for your comment on my blog too.

November 07, 2006 2:07 PM  
Blogger phil said...

Not sure what you were getting at in your comment on my blog.....

Do you think it's possible that your writings are based in a deep cynicism? I know this post is sarcasm (or is it?), but it also appears that you half way believe it would/could happen. Even if you hate George W. Bush, Republicans, or whatever/whoever, don't you think this is a bit unrealistic, conspiratorial, etc.?

Have you VOTED yet today? I hope you have. Everyone needs to vote. So go do it!

November 07, 2006 2:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Democracy? We don't need no stinking Democracy...Up with tyrrany, down with civil liberties.
Or something.

Where I am they're in the throes of electing a replacement for W's brother Jeb as Governor and one of the counties south of me is attempting to resurrect the paper ballot in time for the '08 elections. Business as usual in the FLA.

Thx for the comment, by the way. Stop by any time.

November 07, 2006 3:17 PM  
Blogger William the Bloody Bad Poet said...

I'll send you a postcard if this turns out as predicted.

November 07, 2006 9:33 PM  
Blogger Mother Jones RN said...

I'm watching the election results on ABC and on Fox.
It's like I'm watching election results in two different countries.

HA! Go Dems!

MJ

November 07, 2006 11:28 PM  

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