Setting the record straight.

I have been to the mountain
and I have bombed it.

I have just been contacted by a representative of President Bush’s press office concerning yesterday’s post. I have been informed in no uncertain terms that I have misquoted the man and need to correct the offending comments.

I would just like to take this opportunity to apologize for any misunderstanding my post may have created in the minds of the American people. My intentions have never been to mislead my readers in any way or to pervert their opinions of this president with any personal bias of my own.

I hope this will not affect anyone’s belief in my journalistic integrity. After all, mistakes can happen to anyone, just ask George.

Errors and edits.

1. I apparently misheard the president say “Twenty thousand troops” when in reality he was saying “Twenty thousand fruits” are being sent to Iraq.

As it was explained to me, this somehow relates to solving an American problem involving the sanctity of marriage and family values.

I’d say more about this, but frankly I had a very difficult time following the chain of logic and I’m still confused.

(About the issue, people!)

2. I apparently misheard the president say, “Patriot missiles” when he was actually saying, “Catholic missiles”.

These appear to be some sort of religious tract which the president now considers to be an effective weapon in fighting Islamic ideologies since finding one in a restroom in the white house.

Apparently this missile had a profound impact upon the president’s personal relationship with the savor and he is hoping it will prove just as effective in dealing with the Iraqis.

3. As I was informed by the individual who telephoned me, I am simply one more in a long line of Liberal Jihad extremists that must be dealt with in what the president refers to as, “The War on Error!”

Again, thank you for your patience and understanding. I truly hope the rent in the fabric of my journalistic integrity has been repaired and we can continue on as friends.