Lord of the Blog!

A celebration of love.

Announcer: Give a warm welcome to one of Hollywood's great film makers, Stephen Spielberg!

Thank you ladies and gentleman of the Academy for the huge turnout this evening. Before we reach the finale of tonight’s festivities and announce the winner of this afternoons “Blog of the Day Award” I’d like to take a couple of moments to say a few words about a special man.

Now, I’ve been in the blogging industry for many years. I’ve seen them come and I’ve seen them go; I believe I can safely say that rarely does a presence come along that blazes across the heavens of cyberspace as strongly as the legend we've all come to know and love as, the Dirk_Star.

I remember the first day he entered the blogosphere. He was young, brash and cocky. He was rough around the edges and yet, there was something about his style that caught my eye. He was funny. He always seemed to lift up the spirits of those who blogged around him. He made posting fun again. I knew it was a gift that few are born with and that's why I took him under my wing.

Over the next several weeks, Dirk_Star was like a mosquito buzzing around my head. His questions were unending. Is this, should I, can I, what if... There were days I just wanted to swat the insect and be done with his never ending silliness. Then, as the genius of this jovial philosopher unfolded before my eyes I couldn't help but lend whatever support I could to his endeavors. As we all know only too well, he makes us laugh. He deserves this award. So with out further delay, please welcome warmly, Mr. Dirk_Star!

Applause!

Announcer: Unfortunately, pressing business at Mrs. Wong's All Night Sake and Massage Palace has prevented Mr. Dirk_Star from being here with us this evening. Accepting the award on his behalf is the enchanting star of screen and cinema, the talented, the lovely, the "Sweet Tea of late night" herself, Mrs. Meander.

Muted Applause...

Ms. Meander!

Thank you all so very much for the warm welcome. Mr. Dirk_Star is very disappointed that he couldn't be here in person tonight to accept this very important award. He wanted me to let everyone know that this one is special because it is about the children. They are the backbone of this Blog, often toiling countless hours into the night to keep this site up and running. Working for little to no pay and often having nowhere to sleep save for the cots located in the backroom of the sweat shop...

Sound of orchestra coming up in the background...

Cut to commercial featuring stay free maxi pads.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen; you've been a lovely audience!

Goodnight everybody!